VTMAS No.37: Not the Average Door Salesman

As proof that my odd and bizarre luck still comes into my life, today’s story happened this past weekend. I was zoning out on the computer as my husband headed out the door to go do one of his manly runs to home depot when he stopped halfway through the doorway. This caught my attention,…

VTMAS No.35: He Called Our Bluff

Picture taken by Levi at the time, after stealing Mommy’s phone… There comes a time when your toddler starts to leave behind the days of being gullible and begins to call a parent’s bluff. My husband and I found ourselves in such a position with our 4 year old a while back. We had been…

VTMAS No.34: Val Got Wasted!

To be fair, I posted about the husband’s time being wasted so now it’s my turn to share one about me. That’s right, she who rarely drinks has gotten WASTED once. If you’ve been reading these, you can rule out my 21st birthday as the culprit. Instead, it was my 23rd birthday that got me….

A Short-lived Treasure Hunt

Short Story, Humor The cell phone was ringing again. Florida summer heat brought in a wave of friends and family calling for favors, but this time it was Alvin. With a sigh, Jay answered, “Hey Al!” “Man, I hate to ask…” Alvin’s tone of voice was equal to a grimace on a face. “It’s my Air…

VTMAS No.33: Husband Got Wasted!

Everyone has drunk stories about a time they got wasted and had to piece together what happened via what your friends tell you. Granted, I rarely drink and even then it’s a one mixed drink and I’m good ordeal. It is this fact that makes me the ultimate Designated Driver for my husband, friends and…

VTMAS No.32: The Manatees

I love to go fishing, so there will be plenty of fishing stories to share. If you have no clue what a manatee or dugong is, pretty much they are big grey underwater cows that graze freely in the waters around Florida’s coast. We often fish the brackish waters of the intracoastal where estuaries house…

VTMAS No.31: Who Did It?

As a parent, it can be fun to feign ignorance to your four year old or ask a series of questions that will reward you with comedic gold. In this case, it was not what I expected to happen. “Mom! Linky pooped his pants!” Exclaimed my 4-year old. “He’s stinky!” Grinning, I decided to act…

VTMAS No.30: Baby Brain

If you have been pregnant, or know someone that was in their last trimester, you will know what it means to have Baby Brain. I can dive into the medical complications that cause one to be “spacey” and absent-minded, but trust me, its for real. It was during my first pregnancy that I got a…

VTMAS No.29: Charmander’s Quota

There I was, standing in the kitchen when a wolf spider crawled out from its hiding spot and stood in the middle of the floor. It makes my skin crawl, but I caught my black and white maine coon mix sitting in the kitchen entry way staring at the bug. “Quick, Charmander! Get it!” His…

VTMAS No.28: The Happy Trail

Being in Central Florida has its benefits, including going to a theme park to celebrate my twenty-first birthday. Unlike most of my peers, I had no interest in drinking so it was a great plan to have an above average celebration without the alcohol. I had chosen to go to Universal’s Islands of Adventure with…

VTMAS No.27: You Know, That Song

One of the most precious memories my husband and I have of our first niece was the time we were taking her to Grandma’s house. She was about 4 at the time, and this was before we had kids ourselves. Most of the time at this age she was relatively quiet, very neat and clean…

VTMAS No.26: I Broke My New Underwear

Having kids is both a blessing and a curse. I love my kids, but I have to admit, until they came along, I remember having far more patience and way fewer blow up sessions. Regardless, they give us some of the most awesome and mind-blowing moments of comedy that I can’t even fathom or create…