VTMAS No.3: The Woods Have Eyes

“Crap, we need to change or we’re going to be running this show late.” My friend Jill and I scrambled for our FFA jackets, white blouses, and jeans.

In case you are not familiar with FFA, it stands for “Future Farmers of America”. As high school students we got the amazing privilege to “Get-Out-Of-School-Free” card thanks to many local fairs where we showcased our Chapter’s herd of Angus Cows. Granted we had to shovel and care for 1,000 pound behemoths with snotty noses, but we loved the memories and lessons we created from it. More so, the competitions where we dressed up in our Jackets, showing out local pride as we lead the cattle around and made them stand pretty was awesome. I mean, who doesn’t love getting ribbons and the occasional trophy or belt buckle?

“The bathroom is on the other side, since this one is closed.” Jill and I rushed to the far end of the back country “fair” only to discover a locked door behind a padlocked iron door. “Maaaannnn…”

“Well that’s a tad excessive.” I blinked staring at it as I stood there, contemplating where to go next. “Let’s head back to the barn, see if we can find someone to unlock it. Worse case, we’ll just have to change in one of the trucks.”

We turned around to see a man that reminded me of the janitor from Futurama just STANDING there.

“It’s closed ladies.”

“Yea, the padlock and iron bars sort of told me that. By chance can anyone unlock it so we can change in time for our competition?” I watched patiently as he took what felt like several minutes before responding.

“Nope. The owner won’t be back until 3 pm or so.”

“Wait…” Jill furrowed her brow as she stated what I was also thinking. “It’s closed until 3? It’s only like 9 now, and there have been people here working since 7 this morning? Where are we suppose to pee?” This was our first morning here.

“Well…” Once more the long slow pause. “There’s a Port-a-potty on the other side. We keep that one open at all times.”

“Uh, no thanks. With my luck, I’d flip it before getting one leg through my jeans.” Sighing a nudged Jill. “C’mon, we’ll bug one of the boys to give us their keys in change in one of their trucks.”

“Scruffy” waved bye as we rushed back to the barn area of the fair. It was relief to hear that they were pushing the shows back so people could head back to their hotels to change, due to the inability to have anywhere to change. Despite that, Jill and I said “Screw-it” and decided to change in one of the trucks, taking turns standing guard for one another. As we headed toward the vehicles we run into Janet half way there.

“You must’ve went back to the hotel to change.” Janet was in full uniform as we paused to chat a moment. “we should have done that… VAL.”

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